Hilarious

Hilarious Customer: Waiter, do you serve crabs? Waiter : Sit down, sir, we serve anyone. Customer : Waiter is this lamb chops or pork chop? Waiter : Can't you tell the difference by taste? Customer : No, I can't. Waiter : Then does it really matter? Customer : Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup. Waiter : Yes Sir, they are not very good swimmers. Customer : Waiter, there's a fly in my soup. Waiter : That's all right, Sir, he won't drink much. Customer : Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup. Waiter : So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard? Customer : Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my teacup? Waiter : I wouldn't know, Sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller. Customer : Waiter, this soup tastes funny. Waiter : Funny?? But why aren't you laughing? Lady : Is this my train? Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company. Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to Kuala Lumpur. Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy. Wife : Do you want dinner? Husband : Sure, what are my choices? Wife : Yes and no. First Guy (proudly) : "My wife's an angel!" Second Guy : "You're fortunate, mine's still alive." A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery. The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order" The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have a scotch and soda." An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist. My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.' How long has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist. How long has what been going on?' said the man. Girl : Do you love me? Boy : Yes Dear. Girl : Would you die for me? Boy : No, mine is undying love. 1st thief : Oh ! The police are here. Quick! Jump out of the window! 2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor. 1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions. Man : How old is your father? Boy : As old as me. Man : How can that be? Boy : He became a father only when I was born. Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field" Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field Teacher : How? Student : Ladies first